Am I Exist?

I am at the weakest point of my life. I am vulnerable, yes I really am. I cried today, which I never did before. My heart is bleeding. I need someone to talk to, to share my prolems, to express everyting. But here, I have no one and I don't think people around me realise about my existence. Bestfriend? None. It's hard to find someone who can really appreciate you, to be your favourite hello and hardest good bye.

Two persons tried to convince me that people around me do realize I am exist.

"When it hurts to look back, and you are afraid to look ahead, you can look beside you...and your bestfriend will be there.. Try to be strong Mohd Zahir. InsyaAllah, everything is gonna be find."

I read this message many times, and I ask myself, "Who is beside me?" "Is he my bestfriend?" "If yes, then who is he?" This questions keep wondering in my mind and I don't have the answers to all questions.

The second message did motivate me.

"They (people around me)  are aware of your existance, Zahier. Kalau tak, yang sebelum-sebelum ni apa? Kan? Macam ni lah, you tried everything, seikhlas hati, if they are your friends, yes, they will be. But let say the outcomes are negative, meaning God is keeping you for someone else whom will appreciate you better. Tapi tak salah untuk terus mencuba and pray for it? Buat baik tu tak salah kan?"

Thank you to both sender of the messages. 

I really appreciate it. 

And to the first sender, sorry you had to listen I cried. 

Allah, endow me with strength. I need you, my Lord. :(